Monday, November 23, 2009

Off My Game

Last night shortly before 10:30PM, my "Tagger Spidey-Senses" were tingling so I popped my head outside to find two kids failing miserably trying to marker-tag a real estate sign just down the street. I guess these morons didn't realize that trying to vandalize a damp surface with a crappy marker gets you nowhere–frakin' rookies.

"HEY YOU F*CKING C*NTS! TAKE THAT SH*T SOMEWHERE ELSE!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

The two wannabes nonchalantly glared back at me, looked at each other, then continued to walk West down Santa Ana Boulevard.

I considered chasing them down for some extra exercise (not to mention Christmas cash), but for some reason, I decided against it and just stood there.

What the hell Ben?! This is so unlike you? You didn't have the urge to give them a face full of mace?
Perhaps it was due to the fact that I was wearing flip-flops, or that I'm currently out of pepper spray, or maybe because I didn't see any additional damage around the neighborhood. Or perhaps it was the fact that my top-of-my-lungs shouting didn't stir one neighbor–causing a single light to be turned or a front door to be opened in curiosity.

Figuring I should at least call the cops to make sure these kiddies got home safely, I rushed back in to grab my cell phone (which I hadn't yet programmed SAPD as speed dial–idiot) and called SAPD dispatch.

Fumbling with my new phone, I hurried back out to the street only to find that the two hoodlums were nowhere in sight. Getting the dispatcher on the line only added more frustration to the situation as the dispatcher couldn't keep up with my well-paced and well-trained caller-to-dispatcher dialog.

"Hi, I've got two teenage taggers–both Hispanic males around 14-16 years old walking westbound down Santa Ana Boulevard, just passing Garfi....".

"WAIT WAIT WAIT–slow down sir", the dispatcher said.

"UGH! I should have just chased them down THEN called you" I said. I then began to walk down the Boulevard in hopes of seeing where these f*cktards went. As I passed Garfield Street I thought back to the last time I caught a tagger around here and that it took SAPD over thirty minutes to arrive.

It was only after wrapping up the phone call with SAPD did I realize that I had walked too far down the street without my usual post-10PM tagger-chasing accompaniments (pepper spray, Jesus Stick, etc).Even more frazzled, I gave up the search and headed back home.

The thing that's eating me is why didn't I react like I normally do? Am I getting soft? Geezus, what's happening to me? Unprepared and non-reactive just isn't my style.

Or have I finally begun to succumb to the apathy that eventually plagues everyone in Santa Ana?

I mean, why risk my life when I haven't even beaten Modern Warfare 2 yet, right?

Man, when did I stop caring or even worse, when did I come to my senses? I'm hoping what happened last night was just a glitch in the Matrix and I'll be back on track in no time.

On a side note, can anyone recommend a decent-priced paintball gun with good distance?


Anonymous said...

Hey Ben,
I think that it's just because we're in a holiday week and the days are so short. No kidding, when it's dark at 5:00 I become a slug.

Stephen Manning said...

Risk vs. Reward - coming to your senses. Is $500 worth exposing yourself to injury or death? Their gang-banger brothers might have been in the alley!

P.S. - I think there is ONE bad apple on SAPD's non-emergency line. It's probably the same person who told me "Hello sir, I'm still here you need to talk to me, not other people." when I was trying to get someone to call Ben Dayhoe for help the other day.

Cyrus said...

Its been awhile since I visited the blog, I know exactly how you feel. It's not easy to stay motivated when you have no support!!! SAPD is on my last nerve.

Unknown said...

We used to live in Santa Ana. 317 E. Camile to be exact. Moved to San Clemente in '88 and haven't looked back. Was in the house 9 years, got burglarized 7 times. Take my advice, MOVE!